Saturday, January 12, 2013


‎7 days of Florida. First impression. Florida has shopping centers, golf courses, $1 million houses with burnt-out crabgrass lawns, (they mow lawns on February 29th). Very little traffic. People who drive cars are clueless. Most people drive golfcarts because they start drinking at 9 am and they don't have to contend with airbags when they hit you.

The backroads are straight and flat. If you stand on your toes you can see the entire state so you don't have to go anywhere for a better view. The 55+ communities have ADULT swimming pools open to people age 30 and up. That probably keeps the level of interest up. PA doesn't have adult swimming pools. We have adult bookstores but I think you only have to be 18.

Ocala is the horse capital. Horse shows are in Wellington which is 3 hours south. That keeps northerners in synk with their body clock so they can get up at 3 AM to go to a show. it also is good for GM, the trailer industry and Big Oil.

Mosquitos are a cash crop. If you keep a trap in your bedroom you can drop the overnight captures off at the blood bank for coupons for bandaids. Women wear Backwoods Off and men wear wd-40. That's pretty convenient if you are in a smoky bar and have difficulty knowing what you are talking to.

Will post more later about the reason(s) that you should come to FL. This is not a guarantee of a good time. Actual results may vary.

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